12 weeks.....and some days.

I'm 12 weeks pregnant.

That means that twelve weeks ago, a miracle happened when a piece of me, and a piece of my amazing husband found each other and made Someone enitirely new. ( I don't figure my dates the same way Doctors do, because I'm a unique individual. If I did, then I would be 14 weeks and some days).

I figured that by now I'd have more energy, I'd be more "glowy" and NOT so pregnant looking.
Seriously. I look like I'm five months pregnant.
I'm having a hard time with it, because I feel like I never really got back to my pre-pregnancy weight after Emery, so, I feel really big, and I'm already wearing Maternity clothes which are almost never very flattering unless you're super tiny and just have a baby bump and no extra padding, like me. 

I have no idea wether there is a girl or a boy growing in me either.  With Emery I had dreams. Dreams of a little boy....
This time around....nothing.
I don't really want to know either.

I want to be surprised. 

Owen wants to find out.

Emery hasn't really grasped the idea yet either.

I'm worried that he'll be jealous, that he won't like the baby, that things will be really rough for quite a while. I 'm not sure how to get past that.

I'm also worried abot going back to work after the baby.  With Emery I didnt work for a while, and then when I didgo back to work I was nannying so he got to come with me. I didn't have to worry about pumping breastmilk for him because he was with me.  Its a good thing I didn't have to either because I never could get more than an ounce or two to actually pump. 

I have a full time job. I have a lot of responsibilty. I can't take the baby to work with me. We can't really afford to put a baby in daycare, and honestly, 6 weeks is too young in my opinion to be in the care of someone other than me for a large chunk of the day, I'm just not comfortable with it.

I'm not sure where I had planned on going with this post, but that's okay because I didn't really realize I felt this way about some things.  Typing it all out is sort of therapeutic. 

I guess this pregnancy is becoming more real to me, not that it wasn't real, I just hadn't really envisioned what the future looks like as a family of four.

Interesting.

And so very Exciting!

I can't wait to see how this all plays out!

Thanks for reading. :)




  

Two Days of Grace, and an update

Yesterday (Day 16)
1. Making Scrambled eggs, I haven't forgotten how to cook completely
2. Owen coming home early because he finished his mid-terms
3. Going to Splash Town with Owen and Emery
4. I got to take a looooooooooooooong shower!
5. Early bedtime for all


Today (Day 17)
1. Early chillax time with Emery cause he was soooo fussy this morning (the molars are almost through!)
2. Getting prettied up cause today...
3. I had an interview!!!!
4. Mother in-law watched E for me while I went to be questioned.
5. Emery napping with Owen so I can blog.


After typing all this out, I realized that I haven't been updating regularly about Emery and what he's been up to lately.

He's a walking machine! He's practically running, and he can climb like nobody's business.
He signs more, eat, flower, dog and bath. He says: hello, no-no, mama, apo(apple), da(dad), guh(grandma), guh-da(grandad), kee(kitty), bah(ball), dah(dog), wah(water), shoe, go, bee-buh(bellybutton), and up. He also blows kisses and waves to anyone he sees when we leave a place, or a room. Very cute, yet unnerving when he's waving and blowing kisses to strangers. I love every minute of it! Wow. 15 words, that's impressive!
He's also showing interest in potty training. He almost never poops in his diaper, and most of the time we catch him before he pees in his diaper. As far as breastfeedign goes..... he nurses a lot in the morning, and when he falls asleep at night. Sometimes he'll wake up to nurse around 4 in the am. His daytime nursing is down to naps, and ouchies. I think he's well on his way to weaning. :(

Fun with the Zollner's....

I met Melissa when I attended a La Leche League meeting here in Gresham.

She has two adorable little girls, Karis and Maddy. Melissa is the La Leche League leader. She does a wonderful job, and I feel like we're in the midst of a great friendship.

She brought Karis over the other day. This is a good thing. :) Karis looooves Emery!

She ALWAYS gives him big wet sloppy kisses, of course, these are the best kind!


Emery doesn't ever know what to think at first, but before too long.....
...he's just as enamored with her.


He also loves to watch Karis toddle around. I think he's seceretly trying to figure out her technique.


Here they are sharing Karis' babies. They took turns kissing (well, slobbering and chewing) on them.
Karis is a sweetheart!

We went to the Zollner's for a family friendly New Year's Eve party. Maddy had just got a kitchen for Christmas, and Emery loved it! I think we may have a future chef on our hands. He already wants to be just like Daddy!

Maddy was being quite the tattoo artist. Here she is doing her handiwork on Owen's neck.

The finished product was an upside down squid/octopus thing. Owen loved it!



It's always so much fun being around these lovely folks. I just wanted to share a bit of their magic with you guys!

The Croup

Yuck. Mommy does not like it!

Four days ago (Monday, the day after the snow came and canclled church) Emery woke up with a hoarse throat. I figured he just slept with his mouth open like I do and that was all. That night he was sooooo congested. Owen and I used the tag team method to administer saline drops and a rubber bulb syringe to try to offer the babe some relief. Nothing worked. He struggled all night to breathe. Tuesday he was more hoarse, and more congested. For the life of me I couldn't get any of that dang old mucus to come out of his nose. I figured he was having some post nasal drip issues. (sorry son, you look like Daddy but you ended up with mommy's post nasal drip issues, I hope you don't get my eyesight, impatience, stubborness or wisdom teeth either!) I called his pediatrician who couldn't see him right away, so I made an appointment (and we paid out of pocket!) with a Naturopathic Doctor who squeezed us in that afternoon. She was terrific! She told Emery exactly what she was doing before she did it, and was so helpful and reassuring. We left with herbs and homeopathics and a few tricks to try.

That night we took two long steamy showers with our little guy to try and help him breathe better. We burned some essential oil of thyme in a duiffuser. I couldn't sleep because I thought he was going to stop breathing in the night.

All of this led to much more nursing on Emery's part. That's basically all he's done since he got sick. No solid foods for him.

Yesterday Emery had a dentist appointment to follow up on the knocked out front tooth, and his pediatrician could fit him in (she's paid for by the state) so after grocery shopping we headed that way. Dr. Toledo heard Emery breathing for about 30 seconds and she said. "Poor baby, you've got Croup!" After a thorough examination (which he had already received the day before from Dr. Zeiman) we were told to keep him comfortable, offer him some steam, go for a walk outside in the cold air and all should be well. Also, Dr. Toledo suggested a dose of steroids, which would relax the trachea making breathing easier for Emery. They didn't have the oral, so our poor little guy got his first shot, ever. I cried, Emery cried, and then he breathed better. Last night he slept so well. I rested, finally.

Today he is breathing better, he's not as hoarse, and he's actually smiling a bit. He's still not 100% better, but he's definitely on his way back.

Why didn't anyone tell us how hard it is when little one's are sick?! You want so badly to make them feel better, but there isn't anything that you can do.

Now, here are some pictures for your viewing pleasure. Sorry they're so tiny, they were taken with the cell phone. Enjoy!

A Christmas Revelation and some tunes

My friend Candice posts a song on her blog and changes it randomly. I loved that idea, and thought I might give it a go. The current song is Breath of Heaven, sung by Amy Grant. I first heard this song in high school when my pastor's daughter sang it at church. I loved how it was sung from Mary's point of view.
Now that I myself am a mother, this song has a whole new meaning to me. Christmas, after all, is all about that tiny little baby that was laid in a manger.
This year Christmas has become so much more real to me for the simple fact that Mary was a mother. She gave birth to the baby Jesus. The one who was sent to save us all from our sin. Isn't that an amazing thought?!
All of that hard work and pain I experienced bringing our beautiful little boy into the world, Mary also experienced as she brought Jesus into the world. Just as I nurse Emery, Mary nursed Jesus.
What a humbling and honorable thing to go through!

Merry Christmas!

Six months just flew by....

Can you believe it? Emery is Six months old! His fifth tooth broke through two days after the last one. FIVE teeth! Wow. Three on bottom, and the two front teeth.
We went to his six month well baby check up this morning. Just as I suspected, he's very tall (surprise, surprise). The nurse had to measure him twice to make sure she got it right, the first time she said he was off the charts. He's 28 inches long and weighs 20 pounds 8 ounces. He still has 2 pounds and 2 inches to go before he's too big for his car seat. Dr. Toledo seems to think that his weight gain will level off now and he'll continue to keep getting taller. She also mentioned that he may be a walker before he crawls since he enjoys pulling and standing so much.

I guess that being an 'Attachment Parent' isn't very common at The East County Health clinic. I walked in wearing Emery in a sling on my hip and everyone just stared at me. I guess they were trying to figure out how the thing worked, I don't know. Then when they asked if I brought his shot records their eyes conveyed disbelief when I said we weren't doing shots. Finally, after the nurse had finished the weigh in she told me I could put his diaper back on. I proceeded to put one of my homemade wool diaper covers on Emery and she said, "No, no don't get him dressed!" I responded with, "This is just a diaper a cover."
Are we just completely alone in the way that we're parenting Emery? I don't get it. All of these things make perfect sense to me, it's like second nature, so the fact that I come into contact with people who have no clue as to why or how we do the things we do, it baffles me.

Now that Emery has reached the 'magical' six month marker, I feel like I just need to give him as much food as possible. He enjoys eating very much. Dr. Toledo suggested that since he has a mouthful of teeth that he could 'do more' than other little ones his age. I agree. He shocks me sometimes. Yesterday he grabbed lettuce from Owen's plate, I gave him a slice of cucumber and he sucked a hole in the middle of it so at dinner, we gave him a few asparagus spears which he loved!

I don't like giving him food when Owen isn't home because I'm terrified that when he does that gagging thing that he's really choking. Owen is really calm about it and is so good at scooping whatever it is out of Emery's mouth (I'm afraid I'll shove it in further). I guess I just need to get over it.

I would just stick with the jarred baby food that we have but there doesn't seem to be enough texture for him. I hesitate to thicken it with rice cereal because I read somewhere that the iron fortified cereal hinders the absorption of the naturally occurring iron in breast milk. Can anyone confirm this for me?

We got Emery's Halloween costume yesterday. His Grandmommy Young made it for him, and it is sooooo stinkin' adorable. I would post some pictures but we haven't had a chance to put it on him yet, and I can't find the USB cord for the camera. I still need to make my costume, but Owen's cowboy costume is good to go. I'm excited!

Hulk baby no more

I figured out why our normally happy, easy-to-please little guy has been the Hulk baby the past few days.

He has a new tooth. It broke through sometime yesterday. It's a front tooth, on the top, this makes nursing much more interesting. I can see the one right next to it just under the gums, it'll probably grace us with its presence in the next couple of days.

For those of you keeping track, that's four teeth, with another on the way. I'll keep you posted.

Three teeth and pee in the sink

October 15th is the halfway mark. Six months of being Emery's mom and dad.
Through these past months I've come to realize that I consider myself an Attachment Parent. This has opened up a whole new world of attire, which has led to us collecting a large array of baby-wearing paraphernalia. (3 slings, 1 front carrier, 1 mei-tai, and I want more...check out my wishlist!) This fits in so well with the way we live our lives, it really just makes sense. However, parenting itself really has had it's ups and downs.

First was the breastfeeding fiasco. Emery is a champ when it comes to nursing, however, two weeks into our breastfeeding relationship, I developed what I thought was thrush. After self-treating myself with every natural remedy you could think of, I took myself to the doctor. I was sent to a Lactation Consultant who confirmed for me that it was indeed thrush. Unfortunately, I had to go back to the Doctor to get the prescribed APNO. After another three weeks of excruciating pain, I went back to the doctor and had a culture done of my nipple and milk. Horror of horrors! It wasn't thrush but a nasty staph infection, ie: mastitis. Three doses of antibiotics later, I'm good as new, and our breastfeeding relationship has never been better.

Next came the EC adventure! EC: Elimination Communication, Natural Infant Hygiene, Diaper free

We started with Emery at around three months. I saw a potty at Ikea and bought it on a whim. Emery peed on it the very first time I sat him on it. We haven't looked back since. Nearly three months later we have had a few problems caused by teething and learning how to roll over and push up for crawling, but now he signals pretty clearly, and prefers to pee in the sink as opposed to the potty. (It's totally normal and expected in the EC culture) Really, it's the only way to get him to go otherwise. ;)

Teething, ah the teething. He started around 2 months. By the 5th month he had worked his first little tooth through. Two weeks later out popped number 2, and literally overnight he sprung number 3. I think he may actually be working on number 4 as I type.

This brings us to solid foods. I've already given Mr. Emery rice cereal, strained carrots, and strained peas. Then I read about baby led feeding . Now he's had bananas, pear, apple, and pluot.


Anyway, I just wanted to give everyone who's reading this a primer on how we got to the point we're at now. Hope that you're caught up now, happy reading! Do you have any questions?