Why I want to be A Midwife

“Having a highly trained obstetrical surgeon attend a normal birth is
analogous to having a pediatric surgeon babysit a healthy 2-year-old.”
Marsden Wagner MD
“Midwives see birth as a miracle and only mess with it if there’s a
problem; doctors see birth as a problem and if they don’t mess with
it, it’s a miracle!” Barbara Harper in Gentle Birth Choices

When I think of childbirth, I don't think of it as an emergency, or a
sickness, or something that needs to be managed or controlled.
Women have been having babies since the dawn of time. It wasn't until
the late 1800's that Doctors started to get involved. The Cesarean
rate in the United States is sitting at  32% as of  2011.  In my
opinion, this is due to the increasing number of unnecessary
interventions inside of Hospital Delivery rooms. How do we get away
from such a high Cesarean rate and unnecessary interventions? Doulas,
Homebirths, and Midwives.
My son was born at home with his cord wrapped around his shoulder and
chest into the hands of my skilled Midwife, Ellie with her amazing
Apprentice, Shawna looking on. Ellie swiftly and skillfully unwrapped
his cord and handed him to me.  He came so quickly that he forgot to
breathe. Ellie grabbed her oxygen tank and mask and administered it to
Emery. He pinked up immediately and Daddy cut his cord. All of this
happened in a matter of seconds, and I honestly didn't think anything
of it.
I'm currently 22 weeks pregnant with our second child.   This child will be
born at home as well. I have a different Midwife because we live in a
different state, and this time I planning on a Water birth. I'm not
one bit concerned. It's like breathing to me. It's birth. I trust my
body. I trust my midwife. My Labor is not an emergency or a medical condition
that needs to be managed or controlled.

How did I get to this point?

I have older sisters and I have friends and they have babies. I've
been witness to many Hospital births, and nearly every single one has
left me feeling unsettled. Not because anything went wrong, but
because in nearly every single one, there seemed to be a sense of
urgency, emergency.
Unnecessary interventions happened. The moms
didn't want to trust their bodies, and if they did, they were led to
believe that... "it would be better if..." or "Intervention x-y-z-
will make this easier for you"


In 2002 I began babysitting for a woman who had a 4 year old boy, a 2
year old girl and another baby on the way. All who had been, or were to
be, born at home.

This family was so foreign to me.

They lived simply.
They were happy.
I looked at pictures of both of the births.
Candice was smiling in all the pictures, she looked ecstatic, she was
eating and drinking,  walking around and getting massaged.
Guess what?
They were at home!
No monitors, no IVs, no doctors, no nurses. 
Just them, a Midwife (or two) and a comfy bed.
To follow up, a luxurious looking bath with mom and baby  together, right there, nursing.

Candice let me borrow her copy of  "Spiritual Midwifery" by Ina May
Gaskin, and my whole world was turned upside down.

Women still did this? They birthed at home? Without doctors and nurses
and IVs and Monitors, and WOW!

Suddenly my mind was asking all sorts of questions that I didn't have
the answers to.
What if I could spread the word that childbirth is a natural body process?
What if I could be a part of this magic called Labor?
What if I could be a Midwife?
Whoa! Hey, I could be a Midwife!
From that moment on, my whole life changed, literally.
Candice asked me if I thought I would have my babies at home.
I smiled at her and said, "I hope so."

I started taking Infant Massage classes so I could  be involved with
these families somehow.
I began looking for ways to become a midwife, or be close to midwives
and try to figure them out. How do they work? What do they think, how
do they act?
I started massaging a lay midwife (unlicensed) who would wash my
Massage linens in return. She had me put together a "Benefits of
Infant Massage" for her clients prenatal classes, then she told me
about a school
called ARMSS (Arkansas Midwives School and Services) I began saving up
money to enroll, then the school closed and I put the whole Idea on
the back burner.
While working at Ozark Natural Foods, I met a midwife. she shopped
there, and had the cutest little boy.
I got brave one day and asked her if I could apprentice under her, or
if she knew of any midwives that were taking on apprentices.
She suggested I become a Doula, and then we'd go from there.
A Doula? I wasn't interested in emotional support. PSHAW! I wanted to
get my hands dirty, per se.
I began looking elsewhere to start my education.
 My answer was to move out of state. I had some college under my belt
and I found a College of Midwifery in Portland, OR that offered a
Bachelor of Science in Midwifery.
My brand new doting husband was willing to help me follow my dreams so
off we went.  Away from every friend and family, all the way across
the country, just so I could enroll and take a chance on my dreams.
Three days after our arrival in Portland, I found out we were
expecting a bundle of joy all our own.  I didn't let that stop me!
I went ahead an applied to the school. I was accepted but after
talking to all the instructors, and my Midwife (who was also an
instructor there at the time) I decided that it would be really
difficult to be a full time mom to a newborn without a support system
and I opted to sit it out and wait for the next enrollment period.
 While waiting for the next round of enrollment I became a Doula.
The second enrollment period, I was put on the waiting list, but we
couldn't wait anymore.
We moved to Texas to pursue my husbands dreams of becoming a chef.
He's a Chef now, and I work in a Grocery store offering advice and
suggesting supplements and herbs to folks looking for alternatives to
Over-the-counter meds and prescriptions. Its a great job, but I also
get all kinds of questions from pregnant mama friends wanting advice
on how to handle common pregnancy complaints and what not. I have way
more fun talking to them and educating them about home birth, natural
child birth, attachment parenting, and breastfeeding.
I'm not able to quit my day job and go to school, or exercise my Doula
skills full time because of our financial situation right now.
I live and breathe Midwifery, and all things Childbirth and pregnancy
related. I am a self proclaimed "Birth Junkie".
I have tried several different times to find my path to Midwifery
certification, and it hasn't ever worked out.
I believe I've found a solution though.
We currently live in Texas.  In my never ending search for Midwifery
education, I stumbled across this school,
http://www.texasmidwives.com/education/

Here's a Blurb from their website describing how the program works,

The Association of Texas Midwives philosophy is that midwives should
be trained by other midwives, be that training in a school or through
apprenticeship. ATM has been involved with the education of aspiring
midwives for over 30 years. The development of a curriculum to better
help the student integrate academic learning with the clinical
training received with an experienced midwife-teacher (preceptor) has
evolved and grown as the needs of both midwifery students and
consumers of midwifery care has evolved and grown. This culminated
with the ATM Midwifery Training Program (ATMMTP) being designated as
an approved midwifery education program by the Texas Midwifery Board
in 1999. ATMMTP graduates are eligible to take the North American
Registry of Midwives (NARM) exam as a Texas agency candidate, and upon
successful completion, to obtain the Texas midwifery license, and then
the NARM Certified Professional Midwife (CPM) credential.
"The ATMMTP is an eight-part comprehensive midwifery education program
whose curriculum is based on the Midwives Alliance of North America's
standards for practice and "Core Competencies for Basic Midwifery
Practice", and fully incorporates and exceeds all NARM educational
requirements. These requirements are met through a variety of methods,
including home and internet based coursework, required reading, and
research and community projects. Each of the 8 parts, or modules, ends
with classroom time in the form of 2 or 3 day mandatory workshops
where review, application, integration, and testing occur. The
Program's expected completion period is approximately 2 1/2 - 3 1/2
years, including the required clinical training."
The Clinical Training is an actual Apprenticeship with a Midwife in my
Community, and takes place in conjunction with the coursework if I so
choose.

Now, here's the kicker.

The Program tuition is $7000.00, or $875.00 per module.
We don't have that kind of money just laying around.
If I was able to make this happen finally, my 9+ year quest will have
come to an end, and my destiny will have become a reality and the rest
of my life, as a Midwife can begin.
Thanks for taking the time to read my ramblings.  I hope you enjoyed
it as much as I enjoyed sharing it with you!

I just finished watching "Pregnant in America". 

I first heard about the movie waaaay back before we moved from Fayetteville to Portland (Gresham if you want to get technical). I stumbled across a Myspace page for it actually.  It was still in production, but the director and his wife were creating a buzz about it. Once we arrived in Oregon I avidly checked up on it via the myspace page, and nearly offered to support a showing of it, but I had no one to show it to at the time, I hadn't found my niche In Oregon yet, so I passed. 

Then Emery was born.  Things changed pretty vastly after that, midwifery pursuit and Birthingway were all put on hold for lots of reasons. I discovered Facebook, deleted my myspace account and we moved back to Texas.
Now, here we are in Austin. I'm trying deperately to find my path to midwifery. Desperately.  Everyday I'm searching, looking, hoping, scouring every source that I know of, waiting for that AH-HA moment to say, " Here Erin, this is they way, do it this way."  With no luck...yet. 

 So, being bored, I decided to peruse Hulu for a movie to watch...BAM! There it is, "Pregnant in America".
I know this movie.....could it be?
The Full thing?!
Not just a clip.....wow!

So.

Now the Activist in me is all sorts of riled up!

Curse you Cytotec!
Curse you Pharmaceutical Companies!!
Curse you insurance companies!!!
Curse you Medical Industry!!!!
Curse us America for not allowing our women, our mothers, our society, our culture to know that natural birth is possible!!!!!!

All that being said-

Thank you advanced medical Technology to help when needed, but please, stay out of Birth until you are needed, and only when you are needed.
Thank you Insurance companies for supporting families, when it is needed.
Thank you America for being a nation that allows people, women, families, the right to choose their own way of doing things, now let it happen that way, please.

Maybe my life-calling/career goal list shouldn't read like this:

1. Become a Midwife
2. See Number 1.

Maybe, just maybe, it should read like this:

1. Become as educated as possible on the "flawed" aspects of the Birth culture in America.
2. Share this knowledge with all who will hear it!
3. Become A childbirth Educator (this is a great platform to share this knowledge!)
4. Become a Certified Doula.  Advocate for those vulnearbale women at the mercy of the medical "McDonal-ized" Medical system.
5. Become a Midwife. (I may be 70 by the time it happens, but it WILL happen.)

Are you readers still willing to hold me accountable?
I'm going to need it.

-Erin

Change is the only constant.

The significance of the name change is that it means so much to me.  There is so much wrapped up in these yellow 'weeds'. They are a very healing plant, yet most just consider them an annoying weed.  For me, they are a symbol of constant rebirth and tenacity.  

There is a song called "Dandelions" by a band named Five Iron Frenzy.

http://www.lyricstime.com/five-iron-frenzy-dandelions-lyrics.html

The lyrics are this:

In a field of yellow flowers,

underneath the sun,

bluest eyes that spark with lightning,

boy with shoes undone.
He is young, so full of hope,

reveling in tiny dreams,
filling up, his arms with flowers,

right for giving any queen.

Running to her beaming bright,

while cradling his prize.

A flickering of yellow light,

within his mother's eyes.

She holds them to her heart,
keeping them where they'll be safe,

clasped within her very marrow,

dandelions in a vase.

She sees love, where anyone else would see weeds.
all hope is found.
Here is everything he needs.

Fathomless your endless mercy,

weight I could not lift.

Where do I fit in this puzzle,

what good are these gifts?
Not a martyr, or a saint,

scarcely can I struggle through.

All that I have ever wanted,
was to give my best to you.

Lord, search my heart,

create in me something clean.
Dandelions
you see flowers in these weeds.

Gently lifting hands to heaven,
softened by the sweetest hush,

a Father sings over his children,

loving them so very much.

More than words could warrant,

deeper than the darkest blue,

more than sacrifice could merit,

Lord, I give my heart to you

I first heard it in High School and thought it was just a fun catchy tune. As I grew, it took on so much more meaning for me.  I saw my future in that song. Love, Marriage, Motherhood, Worship.

Now I have a son with the bluest eyes.

I have a son that calls me Princess.

I have a son, that brings me Dandelions.

I struggle everyday to find out what my gifts are,

 how they can be used,

if I'm doing all that I need to do to Glorify God.

I have a family that I love, and am so thankful for everyday.

Now, I can barely listen to this song without crying.

This blog was started to keep far away family informed, and updated on what's happening in our lives. 

It's turned itno something different for me, and I hope you all don't mind where I might go with this blog.  Maybe it'll be easier for me to maintain if I feel more vested in it. 

Maybe.

Here's your challenge:

Keep me accountable.

Thanks for being you, we love you all!

-Erin

 

Two Days of Grace, and an update

Yesterday (Day 16)
1. Making Scrambled eggs, I haven't forgotten how to cook completely
2. Owen coming home early because he finished his mid-terms
3. Going to Splash Town with Owen and Emery
4. I got to take a looooooooooooooong shower!
5. Early bedtime for all


Today (Day 17)
1. Early chillax time with Emery cause he was soooo fussy this morning (the molars are almost through!)
2. Getting prettied up cause today...
3. I had an interview!!!!
4. Mother in-law watched E for me while I went to be questioned.
5. Emery napping with Owen so I can blog.


After typing all this out, I realized that I haven't been updating regularly about Emery and what he's been up to lately.

He's a walking machine! He's practically running, and he can climb like nobody's business.
He signs more, eat, flower, dog and bath. He says: hello, no-no, mama, apo(apple), da(dad), guh(grandma), guh-da(grandad), kee(kitty), bah(ball), dah(dog), wah(water), shoe, go, bee-buh(bellybutton), and up. He also blows kisses and waves to anyone he sees when we leave a place, or a room. Very cute, yet unnerving when he's waving and blowing kisses to strangers. I love every minute of it! Wow. 15 words, that's impressive!
He's also showing interest in potty training. He almost never poops in his diaper, and most of the time we catch him before he pees in his diaper. As far as breastfeedign goes..... he nurses a lot in the morning, and when he falls asleep at night. Sometimes he'll wake up to nurse around 4 in the am. His daytime nursing is down to naps, and ouchies. I think he's well on his way to weaning. :(

Finding My Graces...Day 1

Yeah. So, blogging by phone is a good idea in theory. Unfortunately I'm allowed only 160 characters on my outgoing massages on my phone, so they have to be short posts. This one is going to be a bit longer.

I've decided to try something new.

You see, lately I've been feeling a bit out of sorts. I've been grumpy, and bitter and on occasion just down right mean.

I think I'm gonna try something new to change my outlook on life. On a blog that I read quite frequently(Baby makes Three), Katie Baskins has been taking part in the "Grace in Small Things Movement". The ways in which she finds grace inspire me.
I'm gonna give it a shot people. If your interested in taking part yourself, click on the badge at the top of the page to read all the details.

My 5 graces for today are:

1) Emery waking me up this morning by crawling over on top of me, and grabbing my face with his hands.
2) Having a delicious breakfast made by my amazing, handsome husband
3) Enjoying said breakfast with my amazing, handsome husband
4) Emery going to the potty with Grandma instead of Mommy or Daddy (he's growing up so fast, and becoming so independant!)
5) The cool draft that has hit Spring, TX (it feels like Oregon!)

"I love you like the Ocean through the eyes of the Moon"

This is the lovely Raina Rose. She prides herself on being a folk Goddess. :)

She makes my heart happy, and I love this song. I hope this video stirs emotion in you like it did me. Enjoy!



Check out her website, buy her CDs!

Happy New Year!

Three years ago today, Owen asked me to marry him! So, in honor of such a special day, let's take a walk down memory lane......

This is us at an 80's themed party. Owen had just recently moved from Texas to Arkansas to be closer to me. Awwwww!

Here we are at Kerrville in 2006 about four months before we got married.

Here is one of the best moments of my life captured on film!

Ocho Rios, Jamaica, July 2006. Our honeymoon! This was taken just outside our hotel in front of the fountain.

Finally, our happy little family! It's been an amazing journey sweetheart, I'm so glad we are in this journey together. You're my best friend and I wouldn't pick anyone else to share this life with. I can't wait to see what this year has in store for us! Mmmmmwa!