My Project Totus

I haven't posted in a while. I can't really apologize because, well. I've been busy.

Doing what you ask?

Gestating.
Mothering.
Managing.
Dreaming.
Planning.
Formulating.
Praying.

You know, the important stuff. Due to the simple fact that I've been busy, I just thought I'd pop in and give my readers an update. However, this isn't going to be a normal update, that'll come later. This post will be full lovely little links that will carry you to another place entirely.  This travelling elsewhere will be worth your while because it all leads to an update on me, and where I stand with the way things are right now. Please click on the links, and enjoy what you see. :)

First and foremost, I have this amazing lady for  a friend. 
Her name is Jasmine and she co-owns (authors....er, blogs....um...maintains) a blog with her friend Sadie. They are both busy mamas that find the time to be real and authentic about themselves, their relationships, and their mommy-ness through this deliciously delightfully fun to read blog called The Brokins.

Jasmine is in the midst of a wonderful life changing event right now that she is calling:  Project Totus. I've been following her every step of the way and let me just tell you, she is as very inspiring lady. So inspiring in fact, that I wanted in  on a little piece of this "Project Totus" for myself. So, I'm taking a HUGE leap of faith and hoping that I land somewhere near where I need to be in order to start on this Project Totus path of my own.

Granted, Mine will be a bit different because well, Jasmine and I are different people.  What she needs, and what I need are the same, a community of supporters and cheerleaders, our end results will be similar because we are both reaching for a "whole-ness" we're just going about it in different ways.
Those of you who know me, know what I want to do with my life.  You know what I live and breathe. But, I haven't ever really started down a path that will ultimately get me to the end result of MIDWIFE.
That's a bout to change my friends.
Here is a link to my own personal Project Totus starting line. Please take the time to read it, and share it.
Jasmine's Endorsement Blog post.
She'll be adding a few more tidbits to my story in the coming weeks, so please, come back often, and share it with anybody you'd think would be interested.


I love you all for believing in me.
Do you believe in Dreams, in Callings, in Destiny?
If you do, click on the link, and then pass it along.

Thanks for reading!

-Erin. Owen, Emery, and the Gestating One.....
;)

Horrible ,awful, terrible, no good...yet wonderful day

My sister called me last night and told me that my nephew might have cancer.  Let me give you the back story.
Barrick is the first born to my baby brother.  He is a joy to be around. He's an amazing big brother, he's very smart, sweet, caring, so affecionate, and funny!
This little boy has been through a lot in his short life.  My brother and Barrick's mom married young, and didn't quite grow together.  The end of their relationship was rough, and Barrick was caught in the middle, he was also subjected to a lot of tough stuff at the hands of caretakers, and then a bitter custody battle, finally to be completey signed over to my brother.  Last week he was visiting his mother and got to spend time with Nana (my mom) when his mom was at work.
Nana noticed that his face was a bit swollen and figured he was cutting his five year molars. As time went on, the swelling wasn't going away. The insurance card was in TX with my brother so they took him to the ER.  The ER doctors felt it was a bacterial/viral infection that was possibly clogging a salivary gland and prescribed a strong dose of antibiotics.
  Fast forward to last night.
The round of antibiotics is done and the swelling is still evident. He has a fever that spikes and won't come down with medicine so back to ER they go.
That's when my sister called me. They admitted last night for blood tests and whatnot, and then this morning decided that he needed to see a pediatric oncologist.
Once the oncologist saw him, he was life flighted to Ft. Worth.
Its definitely cancer. We just don't know what kind. Its either Sarcoma, or Lymphoma.
Tomorrow they're doing a biopsy, and a bone marrow test in order to determine the type, stage, and treatment. I don't really have anything else to say about this right now. I'm just so heartbroken.  I'm not sure where to go from here, or what to say to my brother in order to ease his mind. It just is. And it just sucks.
In other news, Emery stucka rock in his ear again yesterday. I took him to the pediatricina this morning and they tried to flush it out with water. Three bottles of water to be exact.
He hated it, and the rock didn't come out. So, we were referred to an ENT.
 Right after leaving the pediatric office we had to rush across town because I was late for the appointment with April Bullock of Birthwise. She and I seemed to click, and she has midwifed a few couples that I know.  I originally stumbled upon her in my attempt to find a midwife to apprentice with, then when I found out we were having #2, it just seemed like she would be someone that I would be comfortable with, and I was. As an added bonus, my insurance will pay her and I can have a homebirth, or if I chose to, at her Birthing Center.  My next appointment is next week and we'll start the whole prenatal process with the health history, and the stats, and measuring and all that.

After April's appointment, Emery and I grabbed a bite to eat at a fast food place (ugh, disgusting I know, but its literally all we had time to do--and I was starving!), and then drove across town again for the ENT appointment. The ENT and I joked about things kids put in their ears, and how boys are boys all the while he was "looking" in Emery's ear with his tweezer type tool and a bright light. Literally 2 minutes later he pulled out a giant rock. Seriously, it was bigger than the pink one removed last time (shown in this picture). Emery didn't even make a peep, and it cost us a lot less than the last one.

So, with all of that, this has been a day full of emotions. I'm exhausted, and now, I'm watching "The Voice" with a nice glass of ginger ale to soothe my tummy. I love you all. thanks for your prayers and encouragement.
  

I just finished watching "Pregnant in America". 

I first heard about the movie waaaay back before we moved from Fayetteville to Portland (Gresham if you want to get technical). I stumbled across a Myspace page for it actually.  It was still in production, but the director and his wife were creating a buzz about it. Once we arrived in Oregon I avidly checked up on it via the myspace page, and nearly offered to support a showing of it, but I had no one to show it to at the time, I hadn't found my niche In Oregon yet, so I passed. 

Then Emery was born.  Things changed pretty vastly after that, midwifery pursuit and Birthingway were all put on hold for lots of reasons. I discovered Facebook, deleted my myspace account and we moved back to Texas.
Now, here we are in Austin. I'm trying deperately to find my path to midwifery. Desperately.  Everyday I'm searching, looking, hoping, scouring every source that I know of, waiting for that AH-HA moment to say, " Here Erin, this is they way, do it this way."  With no luck...yet. 

 So, being bored, I decided to peruse Hulu for a movie to watch...BAM! There it is, "Pregnant in America".
I know this movie.....could it be?
The Full thing?!
Not just a clip.....wow!

So.

Now the Activist in me is all sorts of riled up!

Curse you Cytotec!
Curse you Pharmaceutical Companies!!
Curse you insurance companies!!!
Curse you Medical Industry!!!!
Curse us America for not allowing our women, our mothers, our society, our culture to know that natural birth is possible!!!!!!

All that being said-

Thank you advanced medical Technology to help when needed, but please, stay out of Birth until you are needed, and only when you are needed.
Thank you Insurance companies for supporting families, when it is needed.
Thank you America for being a nation that allows people, women, families, the right to choose their own way of doing things, now let it happen that way, please.

Maybe my life-calling/career goal list shouldn't read like this:

1. Become a Midwife
2. See Number 1.

Maybe, just maybe, it should read like this:

1. Become as educated as possible on the "flawed" aspects of the Birth culture in America.
2. Share this knowledge with all who will hear it!
3. Become A childbirth Educator (this is a great platform to share this knowledge!)
4. Become a Certified Doula.  Advocate for those vulnearbale women at the mercy of the medical "McDonal-ized" Medical system.
5. Become a Midwife. (I may be 70 by the time it happens, but it WILL happen.)

Are you readers still willing to hold me accountable?
I'm going to need it.

-Erin

Austin

We made it! We're here!

There is still a lot of unpacking, organizing and situating to do. Nearly all of our belongings have been in storage for the past three years so we're also doing a lot of sorting and sifting as well.

Emery loves his new bedroom and is settling nicely into his new chaotic schedule. He sleeps in his own twin size bed, in his own room, and allllllll of his toys -trampoline included.

With both Owen and I working full time, our poor little guy is spending about 8-11 hours a day in daycare. :( I'm not happy about that at all. so, that doesn't give us much family time, and our weekends blaze past in a blur, and finding weekend childcare hasn't been the easiest.

All that aside, we're happy here! we'll be sure to keep you posted on all thats going on......if I can find time to update the blog!