I just finished watching "Pregnant in America". 

I first heard about the movie waaaay back before we moved from Fayetteville to Portland (Gresham if you want to get technical). I stumbled across a Myspace page for it actually.  It was still in production, but the director and his wife were creating a buzz about it. Once we arrived in Oregon I avidly checked up on it via the myspace page, and nearly offered to support a showing of it, but I had no one to show it to at the time, I hadn't found my niche In Oregon yet, so I passed. 

Then Emery was born.  Things changed pretty vastly after that, midwifery pursuit and Birthingway were all put on hold for lots of reasons. I discovered Facebook, deleted my myspace account and we moved back to Texas.
Now, here we are in Austin. I'm trying deperately to find my path to midwifery. Desperately.  Everyday I'm searching, looking, hoping, scouring every source that I know of, waiting for that AH-HA moment to say, " Here Erin, this is they way, do it this way."  With no luck...yet. 

 So, being bored, I decided to peruse Hulu for a movie to watch...BAM! There it is, "Pregnant in America".
I know this movie.....could it be?
The Full thing?!
Not just a clip.....wow!

So.

Now the Activist in me is all sorts of riled up!

Curse you Cytotec!
Curse you Pharmaceutical Companies!!
Curse you insurance companies!!!
Curse you Medical Industry!!!!
Curse us America for not allowing our women, our mothers, our society, our culture to know that natural birth is possible!!!!!!

All that being said-

Thank you advanced medical Technology to help when needed, but please, stay out of Birth until you are needed, and only when you are needed.
Thank you Insurance companies for supporting families, when it is needed.
Thank you America for being a nation that allows people, women, families, the right to choose their own way of doing things, now let it happen that way, please.

Maybe my life-calling/career goal list shouldn't read like this:

1. Become a Midwife
2. See Number 1.

Maybe, just maybe, it should read like this:

1. Become as educated as possible on the "flawed" aspects of the Birth culture in America.
2. Share this knowledge with all who will hear it!
3. Become A childbirth Educator (this is a great platform to share this knowledge!)
4. Become a Certified Doula.  Advocate for those vulnearbale women at the mercy of the medical "McDonal-ized" Medical system.
5. Become a Midwife. (I may be 70 by the time it happens, but it WILL happen.)

Are you readers still willing to hold me accountable?
I'm going to need it.

-Erin

Change is the only constant.

The significance of the name change is that it means so much to me.  There is so much wrapped up in these yellow 'weeds'. They are a very healing plant, yet most just consider them an annoying weed.  For me, they are a symbol of constant rebirth and tenacity.  

There is a song called "Dandelions" by a band named Five Iron Frenzy.

http://www.lyricstime.com/five-iron-frenzy-dandelions-lyrics.html

The lyrics are this:

In a field of yellow flowers,

underneath the sun,

bluest eyes that spark with lightning,

boy with shoes undone.
He is young, so full of hope,

reveling in tiny dreams,
filling up, his arms with flowers,

right for giving any queen.

Running to her beaming bright,

while cradling his prize.

A flickering of yellow light,

within his mother's eyes.

She holds them to her heart,
keeping them where they'll be safe,

clasped within her very marrow,

dandelions in a vase.

She sees love, where anyone else would see weeds.
all hope is found.
Here is everything he needs.

Fathomless your endless mercy,

weight I could not lift.

Where do I fit in this puzzle,

what good are these gifts?
Not a martyr, or a saint,

scarcely can I struggle through.

All that I have ever wanted,
was to give my best to you.

Lord, search my heart,

create in me something clean.
Dandelions
you see flowers in these weeds.

Gently lifting hands to heaven,
softened by the sweetest hush,

a Father sings over his children,

loving them so very much.

More than words could warrant,

deeper than the darkest blue,

more than sacrifice could merit,

Lord, I give my heart to you

I first heard it in High School and thought it was just a fun catchy tune. As I grew, it took on so much more meaning for me.  I saw my future in that song. Love, Marriage, Motherhood, Worship.

Now I have a son with the bluest eyes.

I have a son that calls me Princess.

I have a son, that brings me Dandelions.

I struggle everyday to find out what my gifts are,

 how they can be used,

if I'm doing all that I need to do to Glorify God.

I have a family that I love, and am so thankful for everyday.

Now, I can barely listen to this song without crying.

This blog was started to keep far away family informed, and updated on what's happening in our lives. 

It's turned itno something different for me, and I hope you all don't mind where I might go with this blog.  Maybe it'll be easier for me to maintain if I feel more vested in it. 

Maybe.

Here's your challenge:

Keep me accountable.

Thanks for being you, we love you all!

-Erin