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Saturday, December 3, 2011

The Third Trimester and Beyond.....

Here we are,  31 weeks into this thing. 
Some things are falling into place though. 
That's both unnerving and comforting at the same time. I'm unnerved because I'm not in control.  I'm comforted because I'm confident that we will be just fine. We will be taken care of.

However, there are still lots of unknowns.
We don't know if our baby #2 is a he, or a she and I'm okay with that.
We don't know how Emery will respond to a new sibling, but he seems to be getting excited about it. 
We don't know Where Owen will be working or how long, if at all, he'll be able to stay home when the babe arrives.
We don't know how long my Maternity leave will be.
We don't know if I'm returning to work after my Maternity leave.
We don't know how we will afford childcare for two kids.
We don't know where we feel comfortable leaving our 6 (or 8) week old infant. or if we feel comfortable doing that at all.
We don't know where we will be living once our lease is up here....but we HAVE to move. We're not happy here, and its soooo tiny.

So needless to say, I have a lot on my mind these days.

Some decisions seem to be making themselves, but its hard for me to trust that they are the right thing for our family right now. It's a waiting game.

If you happen to know of any places for rent, or any awesome caretakers that you would trust your newborn with, or how I can start trusting that things will be okay, please......pass them my way! Thanks!


Thursday, October 13, 2011

Why I want to be A Midwife

“Having a highly trained obstetrical surgeon attend a normal birth is
analogous to having a pediatric surgeon babysit a healthy 2-year-old.”
Marsden Wagner MD
“Midwives see birth as a miracle and only mess with it if there’s a
problem; doctors see birth as a problem and if they don’t mess with
it, it’s a miracle!” Barbara Harper in Gentle Birth Choices

When I think of childbirth, I don't think of it as an emergency, or a
sickness, or something that needs to be managed or controlled.
Women have been having babies since the dawn of time. It wasn't until
the late 1800's that Doctors started to get involved. The Cesarean
rate in the United States is sitting at  32% as of  2011.  In my
opinion, this is due to the increasing number of unnecessary
interventions inside of Hospital Delivery rooms. How do we get away
from such a high Cesarean rate and unnecessary interventions? Doulas,
Homebirths, and Midwives.
My son was born at home with his cord wrapped around his shoulder and
chest into the hands of my skilled Midwife, Ellie with her amazing
Apprentice, Shawna looking on. Ellie swiftly and skillfully unwrapped
his cord and handed him to me.  He came so quickly that he forgot to
breathe. Ellie grabbed her oxygen tank and mask and administered it to
Emery. He pinked up immediately and Daddy cut his cord. All of this
happened in a matter of seconds, and I honestly didn't think anything
of it.
I'm currently 22 weeks pregnant with our second child.   This child will be
born at home as well. I have a different Midwife because we live in a
different state, and this time I planning on a Water birth. I'm not
one bit concerned. It's like breathing to me. It's birth. I trust my
body. I trust my midwife. My Labor is not an emergency or a medical condition
that needs to be managed or controlled.

How did I get to this point?

I have older sisters and I have friends and they have babies. I've
been witness to many Hospital births, and nearly every single one has
left me feeling unsettled. Not because anything went wrong, but
because in nearly every single one, there seemed to be a sense of
urgency, emergency.
Unnecessary interventions happened. The moms
didn't want to trust their bodies, and if they did, they were led to
believe that... "it would be better if..." or "Intervention x-y-z-
will make this easier for you"

In 2002 I began babysitting for a woman who had a 4 year old boy, a 2
year old girl and another baby on the way. All who had been, or were to
be, born at home.

This family was so foreign to me.

They lived simply.
They were happy.
I looked at pictures of both of the births.
Candice was smiling in all the pictures, she looked ecstatic, she was
eating and drinking,  walking around and getting massaged.
Guess what?
They were at home!
No monitors, no IVs, no doctors, no nurses. 
Just them, a Midwife (or two) and a comfy bed.
To follow up, a luxurious looking bath with mom and baby  together, right there, nursing.

Candice let me borrow her copy of  "Spiritual Midwifery" by Ina May
Gaskin, and my whole world was turned upside down.

Women still did this? They birthed at home? Without doctors and nurses
and IVs and Monitors, and WOW!

Suddenly my mind was asking all sorts of questions that I didn't have
the answers to.
What if I could spread the word that childbirth is a natural body process?
What if I could be a part of this magic called Labor?
What if I could be a Midwife?
Whoa! Hey, I could be a Midwife!
From that moment on, my whole life changed, literally.
Candice asked me if I thought I would have my babies at home.
I smiled at her and said, "I hope so."

I started taking Infant Massage classes so I could  be involved with
these families somehow.
I began looking for ways to become a midwife, or be close to midwives
and try to figure them out. How do they work? What do they think, how
do they act?
I started massaging a lay midwife (unlicensed) who would wash my
Massage linens in return. She had me put together a "Benefits of
Infant Massage" for her clients prenatal classes, then she told me
about a school
called ARMSS (Arkansas Midwives School and Services) I began saving up
money to enroll, then the school closed and I put the whole Idea on
the back burner.
While working at Ozark Natural Foods, I met a midwife. she shopped
there, and had the cutest little boy.
I got brave one day and asked her if I could apprentice under her, or
if she knew of any midwives that were taking on apprentices.
She suggested I become a Doula, and then we'd go from there.
A Doula? I wasn't interested in emotional support. PSHAW! I wanted to
get my hands dirty, per se.
I began looking elsewhere to start my education.
 My answer was to move out of state. I had some college under my belt
and I found a College of Midwifery in Portland, OR that offered a
Bachelor of Science in Midwifery.
My brand new doting husband was willing to help me follow my dreams so
off we went.  Away from every friend and family, all the way across
the country, just so I could enroll and take a chance on my dreams.
Three days after our arrival in Portland, I found out we were
expecting a bundle of joy all our own.  I didn't let that stop me!
I went ahead an applied to the school. I was accepted but after
talking to all the instructors, and my Midwife (who was also an
instructor there at the time) I decided that it would be really
difficult to be a full time mom to a newborn without a support system
and I opted to sit it out and wait for the next enrollment period.
 While waiting for the next round of enrollment I became a Doula.
The second enrollment period, I was put on the waiting list, but we
couldn't wait anymore.
We moved to Texas to pursue my husbands dreams of becoming a chef.
He's a Chef now, and I work in a Grocery store offering advice and
suggesting supplements and herbs to folks looking for alternatives to
Over-the-counter meds and prescriptions. Its a great job, but I also
get all kinds of questions from pregnant mama friends wanting advice
on how to handle common pregnancy complaints and what not. I have way
more fun talking to them and educating them about home birth, natural
child birth, attachment parenting, and breastfeeding.
I'm not able to quit my day job and go to school, or exercise my Doula
skills full time because of our financial situation right now.
I live and breathe Midwifery, and all things Childbirth and pregnancy
related. I am a self proclaimed "Birth Junkie".
I have tried several different times to find my path to Midwifery
certification, and it hasn't ever worked out.
I believe I've found a solution though.
We currently live in Texas.  In my never ending search for Midwifery
education, I stumbled across this school,

Here's a Blurb from their website describing how the program works,

The Association of Texas Midwives philosophy is that midwives should
be trained by other midwives, be that training in a school or through
apprenticeship. ATM has been involved with the education of aspiring
midwives for over 30 years. The development of a curriculum to better
help the student integrate academic learning with the clinical
training received with an experienced midwife-teacher (preceptor) has
evolved and grown as the needs of both midwifery students and
consumers of midwifery care has evolved and grown. This culminated
with the ATM Midwifery Training Program (ATMMTP) being designated as
an approved midwifery education program by the Texas Midwifery Board
in 1999. ATMMTP graduates are eligible to take the North American
Registry of Midwives (NARM) exam as a Texas agency candidate, and upon
successful completion, to obtain the Texas midwifery license, and then
the NARM Certified Professional Midwife (CPM) credential.
"The ATMMTP is an eight-part comprehensive midwifery education program
whose curriculum is based on the Midwives Alliance of North America's
standards for practice and "Core Competencies for Basic Midwifery
Practice", and fully incorporates and exceeds all NARM educational
requirements. These requirements are met through a variety of methods,
including home and internet based coursework, required reading, and
research and community projects. Each of the 8 parts, or modules, ends
with classroom time in the form of 2 or 3 day mandatory workshops
where review, application, integration, and testing occur. The
Program's expected completion period is approximately 2 1/2 - 3 1/2
years, including the required clinical training."
The Clinical Training is an actual Apprenticeship with a Midwife in my
Community, and takes place in conjunction with the coursework if I so

Now, here's the kicker.

The Program tuition is $7000.00, or $875.00 per module.
We don't have that kind of money just laying around.
If I was able to make this happen finally, my 9+ year quest will have
come to an end, and my destiny will have become a reality and the rest
of my life, as a Midwife can begin.
Thanks for taking the time to read my ramblings.  I hope you enjoyed
it as much as I enjoyed sharing it with you!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

My Project Totus

I haven't posted in a while. I can't really apologize because, well. I've been busy.

Doing what you ask?


You know, the important stuff. Due to the simple fact that I've been busy, I just thought I'd pop in and give my readers an update. However, this isn't going to be a normal update, that'll come later. This post will be full lovely little links that will carry you to another place entirely.  This travelling elsewhere will be worth your while because it all leads to an update on me, and where I stand with the way things are right now. Please click on the links, and enjoy what you see. :)

First and foremost, I have this amazing lady for  a friend. 
Her name is Jasmine and she co-owns (, a blog with her friend Sadie. They are both busy mamas that find the time to be real and authentic about themselves, their relationships, and their mommy-ness through this deliciously delightfully fun to read blog called The Brokins.

Jasmine is in the midst of a wonderful life changing event right now that she is calling:  Project Totus. I've been following her every step of the way and let me just tell you, she is as very inspiring lady. So inspiring in fact, that I wanted in  on a little piece of this "Project Totus" for myself. So, I'm taking a HUGE leap of faith and hoping that I land somewhere near where I need to be in order to start on this Project Totus path of my own.

Granted, Mine will be a bit different because well, Jasmine and I are different people.  What she needs, and what I need are the same, a community of supporters and cheerleaders, our end results will be similar because we are both reaching for a "whole-ness" we're just going about it in different ways.
Those of you who know me, know what I want to do with my life.  You know what I live and breathe. But, I haven't ever really started down a path that will ultimately get me to the end result of MIDWIFE.
That's a bout to change my friends.
Here is a link to my own personal Project Totus starting line. Please take the time to read it, and share it.
Jasmine's Endorsement Blog post.
She'll be adding a few more tidbits to my story in the coming weeks, so please, come back often, and share it with anybody you'd think would be interested.

I love you all for believing in me.
Do you believe in Dreams, in Callings, in Destiny?
If you do, click on the link, and then pass it along.

Thanks for reading!

-Erin. Owen, Emery, and the Gestating One.....

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Placenta fun!

I may be the only person reading my own blog, that considers this a "fun" conversation. Perhaps it has something to do with educationg others, perhaps it has something to do with being a Birth Junkie, or maybe it just so happens to be so near and dear tomy heart, who knows......
I mentioned casually on facebook that I didn't necessarily conider my self a Hardcore Home Birther, but that I did do some of the things listed.....
This is the response I got.
I love how it took a turn and let me reveal a bit more about myself, my plans, and gave me the opportunity to share my passion. 
Thanks everyone who shared their comments and insight, its much appreciated!
I guess I could be considered an HHB by my more "mainstream" friends. :) I just consider myself a Birth Junkie...... :)
Melody  OH MY GOSH!

  • Melody  Sorry but that is FREAKING nasty! There is no reason to do that! COWS do that! We are not cows!

  • Erin Young I'm just curious Melody  what is shocking to you about this? I'd love your input! :) I had my son at home, and I'm having thew one I'm growing in belly at home too!

  • Melody  That is fine to have your baby at home. But to eat your placenta is NASTY

  • Erin Young Cows do what? Eat their placents or give birth at home? Im not eating my placenta but I'm encapsulting it
    It is an unusual way to fight postpartum depression, but a pillmade from placent...a is being touted as the natural way of fightingthe baby blues.See More

  • Erin Young Tons of benefits! check out the link!

  • Melody GROSS GROSS GROSS! I don't even want to see mine.

  • Erin Young What?! Why? Your body made it and nourished your baby for nine months! It's an organ created just for pregnancy, and then it gets tossed out with the trash. We buried our sons in the garden.

  • Erin Young To each his or her own...... I love educating people aboutit ! Iguess that canbe added to the hardcore homebirther list... :)

  • Nancy So placenta is being used to make an anti depressant? for postpartum depression am I right?

  • Jessica lol ok i wouldnt want to eat mine either, but i did want to see it, not that i got too... i plan on doing things completely different with my next delivery, im not brave enough for a home delivery but i want to attempt to go drug free... what does capsulating the placenta do?
  • Jasmine
    There is no medical evidence of placenta encapsulation being effective for individuals with postpartum depression or psychosis. At best the evidence has been anecdotal and placebo. Moreover the article called steaming and encapsulating your... placenta "a natural process", which it is not. The sensitive neuro-proteins that are touted to ward off depression would be, at best, depleted if not destroyed in the streaming/drying process...

  • Jessica  is that what it is erin? ^^^

  • Jasmine  does have more experience with PPD than myself, and she is correct in the fact that process used could deplete the good stuff found in the placenta, however, it all depends on the tempertaure and lenghth of time its exp...osed to that temperature.
    I want to do it more for healing benefits ie:) increased milk production, quicker lochia dispersement, hormonal balance, energy.....
    This link talks about it more from an Oriental medicine/Eastern stance. Which is much more what I'm after.
    Placenta as Medicine - medicinal benefits of placentophagy

  • Erin Young This has turned into a really interesting chat, I Think I'm going to post this on my blog...... :) Keep it coming ladies, and Jasmine--- I LOVE your insight! Thanks!
  • Jessica hmmmm this is very informative! even if i didnt use these techniques i love learning about it
  • Erin Young I like sharing the knowledge!
  • Jasmine  Biologically you can't get passed that fact that any process OUTSIDE of eating it raw destroys the "medicinal" benefits of placenta encapsulation. Heat up oxytocin outside of the body and it breaks down. Moreover lower animals, according to biological studies, eat their placenta for reasons that nourished higher mammals don't need to...

  • Erin Young Good point. So, why has ancient chinese medicine been doing it this way for so long? Jana  do you have any insight into this?
Jasmine  Ancient Chinese Medicine has been doing lots of things for a long time that are debunked. Poverty, Religion, Tradition, Social/Cultural normalization amongst other things keep it going doesn't mean it is valuable for what it claims to treat...
So readers, what do you think?!

        Thursday, July 28, 2011

        12 weeks.....and some days.

        I'm 12 weeks pregnant.

        That means that twelve weeks ago, a miracle happened when a piece of me, and a piece of my amazing husband found each other and made Someone enitirely new. ( I don't figure my dates the same way Doctors do, because I'm a unique individual. If I did, then I would be 14 weeks and some days).

        I figured that by now I'd have more energy, I'd be more "glowy" and NOT so pregnant looking.
        Seriously. I look like I'm five months pregnant.
        I'm having a hard time with it, because I feel like I never really got back to my pre-pregnancy weight after Emery, so, I feel really big, and I'm already wearing Maternity clothes which are almost never very flattering unless you're super tiny and just have a baby bump and no extra padding, like me. 

        I have no idea wether there is a girl or a boy growing in me either.  With Emery I had dreams. Dreams of a little boy....
        This time around....nothing.
        I don't really want to know either.

        I want to be surprised. 

        Owen wants to find out.

        Emery hasn't really grasped the idea yet either.

        I'm worried that he'll be jealous, that he won't like the baby, that things will be really rough for quite a while. I 'm not sure how to get past that.

        I'm also worried abot going back to work after the baby.  With Emery I didnt work for a while, and then when I didgo back to work I was nannying so he got to come with me. I didn't have to worry about pumping breastmilk for him because he was with me.  Its a good thing I didn't have to either because I never could get more than an ounce or two to actually pump. 

        I have a full time job. I have a lot of responsibilty. I can't take the baby to work with me. We can't really afford to put a baby in daycare, and honestly, 6 weeks is too young in my opinion to be in the care of someone other than me for a large chunk of the day, I'm just not comfortable with it.

        I'm not sure where I had planned on going with this post, but that's okay because I didn't really realize I felt this way about some things.  Typing it all out is sort of therapeutic. 

        I guess this pregnancy is becoming more real to me, not that it wasn't real, I just hadn't really envisioned what the future looks like as a family of four.


        And so very Exciting!

        I can't wait to see how this all plays out!

        Thanks for reading. :)


        Sunday, July 3, 2011


        We took Emery to see Cars 2 in 3D last night.  He was such a trooper. He wore his kid size glasses the whole time. He sat quietly on mine or daddy's lap, and he didn't make a peep ( unless it was something like "Go Mater!" or "Lightening McQueen is so fast!". He even mastered the art of finding the bag of popcorn in the dark and shoving handfuls in his mouth without taking his eyes of the screen.  When it was all done, he didn't want to leave.

        Tuesday, June 21, 2011

        Horrible ,awful, terrible, no good...yet wonderful day

        My sister called me last night and told me that my nephew might have cancer.  Let me give you the back story.
        Barrick is the first born to my baby brother.  He is a joy to be around. He's an amazing big brother, he's very smart, sweet, caring, so affecionate, and funny!
        This little boy has been through a lot in his short life.  My brother and Barrick's mom married young, and didn't quite grow together.  The end of their relationship was rough, and Barrick was caught in the middle, he was also subjected to a lot of tough stuff at the hands of caretakers, and then a bitter custody battle, finally to be completey signed over to my brother.  Last week he was visiting his mother and got to spend time with Nana (my mom) when his mom was at work.
        Nana noticed that his face was a bit swollen and figured he was cutting his five year molars. As time went on, the swelling wasn't going away. The insurance card was in TX with my brother so they took him to the ER.  The ER doctors felt it was a bacterial/viral infection that was possibly clogging a salivary gland and prescribed a strong dose of antibiotics.
          Fast forward to last night.
        The round of antibiotics is done and the swelling is still evident. He has a fever that spikes and won't come down with medicine so back to ER they go.
        That's when my sister called me. They admitted last night for blood tests and whatnot, and then this morning decided that he needed to see a pediatric oncologist.
        Once the oncologist saw him, he was life flighted to Ft. Worth.
        Its definitely cancer. We just don't know what kind. Its either Sarcoma, or Lymphoma.
        Tomorrow they're doing a biopsy, and a bone marrow test in order to determine the type, stage, and treatment. I don't really have anything else to say about this right now. I'm just so heartbroken.  I'm not sure where to go from here, or what to say to my brother in order to ease his mind. It just is. And it just sucks.
        In other news, Emery stucka rock in his ear again yesterday. I took him to the pediatricina this morning and they tried to flush it out with water. Three bottles of water to be exact.
        He hated it, and the rock didn't come out. So, we were referred to an ENT.
         Right after leaving the pediatric office we had to rush across town because I was late for the appointment with April Bullock of Birthwise. She and I seemed to click, and she has midwifed a few couples that I know.  I originally stumbled upon her in my attempt to find a midwife to apprentice with, then when I found out we were having #2, it just seemed like she would be someone that I would be comfortable with, and I was. As an added bonus, my insurance will pay her and I can have a homebirth, or if I chose to, at her Birthing Center.  My next appointment is next week and we'll start the whole prenatal process with the health history, and the stats, and measuring and all that.

        After April's appointment, Emery and I grabbed a bite to eat at a fast food place (ugh, disgusting I know, but its literally all we had time to do--and I was starving!), and then drove across town again for the ENT appointment. The ENT and I joked about things kids put in their ears, and how boys are boys all the while he was "looking" in Emery's ear with his tweezer type tool and a bright light. Literally 2 minutes later he pulled out a giant rock. Seriously, it was bigger than the pink one removed last time (shown in this picture). Emery didn't even make a peep, and it cost us a lot less than the last one.

        So, with all of that, this has been a day full of emotions. I'm exhausted, and now, I'm watching "The Voice" with a nice glass of ginger ale to soothe my tummy. I love you all. thanks for your prayers and encouragement.

        Wednesday, May 25, 2011

        Wordless Wednesday

        Old picture of my big boy at the dentist!

        Friday, May 20, 2011

        Funny Bone Defensive Driving

        I was in a wreck about a month ago. It was my "fault" because the brakes were bad and I ran a red light t-boning a car passing through the intersection. Because my driving record it so impeccable (ha!) I was allowed to take a Defensive Driving Course in order to have my ticket dismissed.  It's been a process, and I'm still not done. Today was my Defensive Driving class. There are lots of options when choosing a course. I opted for this particular one because I would rather be entertained than sit in front of a computer, or listen to some Monotone teacher preach at me about how I shouldn't drive the way I do.

        Six hours later, this is what I took away from it.

        Dana, the instructor, walked a fine line between being mildly funny, (lots of dry jokes and puns), and very professionally serious when talking about the most important matters.


        The dry jokes and puns were a much needed distraction from the mundane common sense items discussed that obviously some of the attendees definitely needed to re-learn. 

        The highlight of my day though was our lunch break.

        We were given Austin's Pizza as our lunch. Totally paid for.  We were also told that the company matches 100% whatever it is that the delivery drivers receive in tips and all that money goes to fund Autism research. Good cause right? I'm still researching the truth in this statement, so don't hold me to that.

        But, I digress....

        So, Dana went elsewhere for lunch.  I'm sure after teaching 3000 plus classes, one gets tired of eating pizza.  I would have gone elsewhere as well, if I could have. 
        We as a class, ate our pizza, and returned to the classroom to finish out our 6 hour "adult time-out" day.

         We were waiting patiently for his return, and waiting, and waiting.  He finally showed up 15 minutes later and informed us he had been in a wreck--in the parking lot. His first in 12 years.

        Lesson 2~

        Really those are the most important things I learned today, oh- wait and you can get fined $2500 max for throwing cigarette butts out the window in TX. Due to high drought conditions, a cigg *could* be considered Hazardous material. (they can cause fires yo!)

        Lesson 3~

        Thanks for reading.....
        I just finished watching "Pregnant in America". 

        I first heard about the movie waaaay back before we moved from Fayetteville to Portland (Gresham if you want to get technical). I stumbled across a Myspace page for it actually.  It was still in production, but the director and his wife were creating a buzz about it. Once we arrived in Oregon I avidly checked up on it via the myspace page, and nearly offered to support a showing of it, but I had no one to show it to at the time, I hadn't found my niche In Oregon yet, so I passed. 

        Then Emery was born.  Things changed pretty vastly after that, midwifery pursuit and Birthingway were all put on hold for lots of reasons. I discovered Facebook, deleted my myspace account and we moved back to Texas.
        Now, here we are in Austin. I'm trying deperately to find my path to midwifery. Desperately.  Everyday I'm searching, looking, hoping, scouring every source that I know of, waiting for that AH-HA moment to say, " Here Erin, this is they way, do it this way."  With no luck...yet. 

         So, being bored, I decided to peruse Hulu for a movie to watch...BAM! There it is, "Pregnant in America".
        I know this movie.....could it be?
        The Full thing?!
        Not just a!


        Now the Activist in me is all sorts of riled up!

        Curse you Cytotec!
        Curse you Pharmaceutical Companies!!
        Curse you insurance companies!!!
        Curse you Medical Industry!!!!
        Curse us America for not allowing our women, our mothers, our society, our culture to know that natural birth is possible!!!!!!

        All that being said-

        Thank you advanced medical Technology to help when needed, but please, stay out of Birth until you are needed, and only when you are needed.
        Thank you Insurance companies for supporting families, when it is needed.
        Thank you America for being a nation that allows people, women, families, the right to choose their own way of doing things, now let it happen that way, please.

        Maybe my life-calling/career goal list shouldn't read like this:

        1. Become a Midwife
        2. See Number 1.

        Maybe, just maybe, it should read like this:

        1. Become as educated as possible on the "flawed" aspects of the Birth culture in America.
        2. Share this knowledge with all who will hear it!
        3. Become A childbirth Educator (this is a great platform to share this knowledge!)
        4. Become a Certified Doula.  Advocate for those vulnearbale women at the mercy of the medical "McDonal-ized" Medical system.
        5. Become a Midwife. (I may be 70 by the time it happens, but it WILL happen.)

        Are you readers still willing to hold me accountable?
        I'm going to need it.


        Saturday, May 14, 2011

        Change is the only constant.

        The significance of the name change is that it means so much to me.  There is so much wrapped up in these yellow 'weeds'. They are a very healing plant, yet most just consider them an annoying weed.  For me, they are a symbol of constant rebirth and tenacity.  

        There is a song called "Dandelions" by a band named Five Iron Frenzy.

        The lyrics are this:

        In a field of yellow flowers,
        underneath the sun,
        bluest eyes that spark with lightning,
        boy with shoes undone.
        He is young, so full of hope,
        reveling in tiny dreams,
        filling up, his arms with flowers,
        right for giving any queen.
        Running to her beaming bright,
        while cradling his prize.
        A flickering of yellow light,
        within his mother's eyes.
        She holds them to her heart,
        keeping them where they'll be safe,
        clasped within her very marrow,
        dandelions in a vase.

        She sees love, where anyone else would see weeds.
        all hope is found.
        Here is everything he needs.

        Fathomless your endless mercy,
        weight I could not lift.
        Where do I fit in this puzzle,
        what good are these gifts?
        Not a martyr, or a saint,
        scarcely can I struggle through.
        All that I have ever wanted,
        was to give my best to you.
        Lord, search my heart,
        create in me something clean.
        you see flowers in these weeds.

        Gently lifting hands to heaven,
        softened by the sweetest hush,
        a Father sings over his children,
        loving them so very much.

        More than words could warrant,
        deeper than the darkest blue,
        more than sacrifice could merit,
        Lord, I give my heart to you

        I first heard it in High School and thought it was just a fun catchy tune. As I grew, it took on so much more meaning for me.  I saw my future in that song. Love, Marriage, Motherhood, Worship.

        Now I have a son with the bluest eyes.

        I have a son that calls me Princess.

        I have a son, that brings me Dandelions.

        I struggle everyday to find out what my gifts are,
         how they can be used,
        if I'm doing all that I need to do to Glorify God.

        I have a family that I love, and am so thankful for everyday.

        Now, I can barely listen to this song without crying.

        This blog was started to keep far away family informed, and updated on what's happening in our lives. 
        It's turned itno something different for me, and I hope you all don't mind where I might go with this blog.  Maybe it'll be easier for me to maintain if I feel more vested in it. 


        Here's your challenge:

        Keep me accountable.

        Thanks for being you, we love you all!



        Tuesday, May 3, 2011


        We made it! We're here!

        There is still a lot of unpacking, organizing and situating to do. Nearly all of our belongings have been in storage for the past three years so we're also doing a lot of sorting and sifting as well.

        Emery loves his new bedroom and is settling nicely into his new chaotic schedule. He sleeps in his own twin size bed, in his own room, and allllllll of his toys -trampoline included.

        With both Owen and I working full time, our poor little guy is spending about 8-11 hours a day in daycare. :( I'm not happy about that at all. so, that doesn't give us much family time, and our weekends blaze past in a blur, and finding weekend childcare hasn't been the easiest.

        All that aside, we're happy here! we'll be sure to keep you posted on all thats going on......if I can find time to update the blog!